


Feelings

by xiuxi



Category: Fate/Zero, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-24
Updated: 2012-12-24
Packaged: 2017-11-22 07:39:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/607429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xiuxi/pseuds/xiuxi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some men have more feelings than others.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Feelings

**Author's Note:**

  * For [canniballistics](https://archiveofourown.org/users/canniballistics/gifts).



Kotomine Kirei woke up at exactly 3:43 am and felt something. He knew it was exactly 3:43 because the alarm clock blinked at him with its big red numbers, and he knew he felt something because he did a double take to be sure.

This was a rare occasion indeed, because usually Kotomine Kirei didn’t feel at all. Usually his insides were a grey void, which despite its emptiness managed to be gnawing. There had been other occasions, most of them back when he more desperately pretended to be like other humans. Since he had shaken those frail pretenses, the occasions had been fewer, and the void had been both bigger and emptier somehow.

He had tried his hands at love, and it had been both a success and failure at the same time. That part of his life was irrevocably over now anyway. He abstained from joy because giving in to pleasure meant unleashing all manners of evil and darkness upon this world. He never feared. Men like him didn’t fear anyway. During his younger days he sometimes felt anger at God, the entity who had placed him in the godforsaken shithole of a world, but he had long since reconciled to his fate. Sadness was an utter foreign concept to him. Pain was something he caused in others. Kotomine Kirei didn’t long for anything or anyone, he never laughed, he regretted nothing, embarrassment was for weaklings, and courage was what killed lesser men.

The last time he had felt something was when he allowed himself to peek into the mind of that boy, Matou Kariya. He saw the embodiment of human suffering and he smiled to himself. That guy felt things alright, and look where his feelings and humanity took him. As far as Kotomine Kirei concluded, feelings were what darkened an otherwise bright path. And then he didn’t feel anything for quite a while.

But tonight he felt something flicker in the depths of his chest. A feeling - or more like a wish, maybe. He wanted to touch a lock of that golden hair.

Desire.

And that was all.

 

 

At the basement in the Fuyuki Church the golden haired Archer, named Gilgamesh, arose from spirit form at precisely 6:30 am. He usually didn’t think much, because he wasn’t the introspective sort, except when he was plotting something. But today he actually had a concrete and illuminating thought. He smiled to himself as he sat up in his chair. As he watched the empty wine bottles from last night he thought the thought over to himself. Then he smiled again.

And he thought: _Kotomine Kirei is a guy who needs to get laid so badly._

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to CarolineCrane for the beta.


End file.
